Seriously? What's next?

Hello all you amazing creatures

My first experience with HTML and webdesign was through the Neopets storefront oh so many years ago. I really enjoyed the experience of copying and pasting tables and setting up my items on display.

I definitely didn't put too much thought into making it perfect. Which I think was good because HTML seems to laugh in the face of perfection. Sure, you can have the padding and margins and right elements in the correct order, so carefully placed. Even the latest and most robust workarounds for different browsers and resolutions. But someone, somewhere, probably with a blackberry, is going to view your website and everything is going to be all messed up and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

I know my website is very broken on mobile right now, and there's a lot I can do about it but I couldn't fix it today and I'm just gonna have to find peace with that. (But I AM working on it, and that's a sign of improvement on my part. For so long now I've resisted even posting anything at all because it wasn't suitable enough.)

And that brings me again to the purpose of this space.

Communication isn't always my strongest skillset. I lived a very closed off and bottled up life for so long. Things like journaling and singing and therapy have helped me slowly open back up and find my own voice.

I feel now at a point though where I want to get those words more out there into the world. It's one thing to think a thought in private. It's another to let it out onto the internet where someone might actually read it!

Not that I expect anyone to read these earlier posts. Things are gonna be messy. My private journals are still messy but also really helpful.

Someday I'll have posts split more nicely between my rambly daily blog posts and random thoughts vs articles and more thought out and constructed peices. For now, this is going to be a place to dump my private world, but for you all to see.

I sometimes feel like nobody around me has any idea what is going on in my head but I've come to the conclusion that this is entirely my fault. I always thought people should see that clearly I've got something going on in there and ask about it, but they never really seem to. So then the problem is that -I- am the one who needs to talk about them more and, yeah I think it's true.

I struggle sharing too because I know not every belief in my head is a great one. Doing stuff like this will expose that more. Expose me more as being a fallible humanbeing capable of thinking wrong or harmful things. Well, the jig is up. I'm just as human as everyone else. As uncomfortable as that idea is to me.

You don't have to be perfect to have a voice. You don't even have to be right. You've got a voice and it's worth sharing. With care and kindness, hopefully, no real harm will come of that.

Someday I'll learn what it means to be conicise.

Until then, and definitely well after too. I hope that wherever you are that you are well and remember to be awesome!

-Clareon The Critter