Is it wrong to hide parts of yourself?
I've been thinking a lot more about how I want to share content and what would be the best way to do that. I've been working hard on the next version of the layout for this site and it's nearly done!
I've wanted to keep up writing for a couple of weeks to make sure I was actually going to use this space before sharing it with more people. But now I am stuck with wondering, but who am I going to share it with?
I'm making this space with the intention of sharing more of myself out to the world. And to explore myself and try on different ideas and forms of expression. To share more of myself with myself more than anything.
I want a space where I feel safe to explore myself. I keep trying to tell myself that I don't care about the judgement I might recieve if I were to share this with all of my friends and family but.. I guess I do.
My initial thought is to start a second, secret blog where I discuss and explore the things that are way too messy or unsure of. And I probably will.
In the end I want this space to be a place where I don't care who sees what I put here. I feel guilty almost at the idea of having a second Third Space to share myself but.. I think that it's OK to compartmentalize yourself some if the intention is making a safe space to explore yourself in. And that looks different for different people. Wether your reason is for fear of judgement and ridicule, or perhaps even your own saftey for the retaliation you might face for being you. We all need a safe space where we can nurture and restore ourselves. I need this space to be that.
I guess I'm writing this to say that if you knew me for real life and you found this space but I didn't share it with you.. it's not that I don't trust you, I'm just being extra careful right now. This space is important to me and I want to treat it carefully and tenderly. If I'm over protective of it for a while well, I'll learn.
For a lot of my recent life I've had to really hide myself away in a cocoon of isolation to even learn more about myself. I'll still be doing a lot of that, but at least now I have a space where I can share a lot of what I have found out with all of you.
And I'm really excited to come out of my cocoon more and share with you all!
Until next time, remember to take care of those that you love, including yourself!
-Clareon The Critter